Monday, July 6, 2009

Critique - Mom & kid

Alright! Getting better and better!

Shot 1:

- woman: what sticks out the most are her eyes. She doesn't seem to focus on things, her pupils stay in the middle most of the time. It gives her almost a "blind" feel.
The first head turn feels good, but all the other head turns feel too spliney and even. It's just too computery right now. Did you film yourself acting this scene out? How is your head moving when acting out what she does? What are your eyes doing?
The hands/arms feel very ik-ish (especially the screen left one), so too floaty and the wrists seem too locked off. You could do a lot with fk, which will feel more natural. Careful with the screen right wrist doing a quick rotation around x164, it looks too mechanical and too isolated, break up the timing of it and slow it down a tiny bit as well.
I think I see some shoulder animation, but don't forget to add a bit more (for instance when she touches her hair, that arm going up would motivate the shoulder to go up as well).
- girl: same thing her with her eyes not focusing (lack of eye darts)
Wrists/arms feel too ik-ish (give-away when elbow is moving but wrist isn't).
Vary the jaw open pose a bit, same with the eyebrows and general facial aniamtion. Until she takes a bit her faces feel very locked into one pose.

Shot 2:

IK arm is really standing out here. The left elbow is floating around while the wrist is locked.
The eye movement is too slow. It's good to show eye darts because she's deconstructing information in her head, but the moves are too floaty. Keep the darts within 2 or sometimes even 1 frame (small distances).
Her body and head stop around x318 pretty much at the same time. Break it up, don't have body and head act like one unit. Again, act it out, how are you moving in that situation?

Shot 3:

I would bring in the mom a bit more into frame.
The kid's chair could be moved screen right as well (so that it doesn't cover the dog).
The dog's pose feels a bit weird, with the nose into the furniture and all. Think about what that one pose is supposed to show. Is the dog, just sleeping? Lazy laying down? Will the dog move?
The idea for the kid is fine, but it needs more complexity. The head rotates pretty much in Y only, there are no blinks doing bigger eye darts and head moves, the hand/arm gesture at the end feels to even and facially it could be stronger in terms of acting. It feels a bit simple, but it's clear. So add a bit more character to the kid. Right now it's a bit too default in terms of acting.

Hope that helps!

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