Thursday, September 3, 2009

Critique - Men



The beginning until "well" works pretty ... well... There's some stuff we could tone down but I would concentrate on other areas right now.
For instance the pause between "well" and "he came..." There's a lip smacking and swallowing sound right before the "he came..." part and it sounds like the guy is nervous or having trouble saying the part (trouble not physically but mentally). So I would adjust the acting during that pause accordingly. Right now it looks like he just had a sip of hot chocolate and is really savoring the taste. He looks pretty relaxed too.
The "two men" gesture is a bit too on the nose for me, too acted out. I think you could do something more original and subtle. Or at least a different, more original gesture. Same with the last acting bit (lifting the eye brow).

It all works as it is now, but I feel like I have seen clips with a guy acting all cool before. You could use the sound and introduce more character and emotion. Think about the context of the shot. Who is the guy talking? And who is he talking to? Where are they? How is the content of the audio clip affecting the character's behaviour?
"He came in this morning... with two men. Big guys." Is that "he" in the same room as them, but off screen? Does he need to keep that information secret? Should he not tell the other guy? So maybe they are in a public place and he's more cautious as he reveals that information? Maybe he looks around? What if a waiter comes by and serves them their beverages and that's why there is that long pause. The guy could start talking but then stops because of the waiter, then looks at him nervously/angrily/anxiously until he leaves (maybe waves him off impatiently), etc. etc.

That's just a suggestion but hopefully gets you going idea wise.

Cheers
JD

JD

8 comments:

Pradeep Singh Bal said...

woW .. what an eye opening critique .. Thanks Jean Denis ..Great tips u gave.

Jean-Denis Haas said...

Thanks Pradeep! Glad it helps!

Anonymous said...

I agree! Thanks for the critique.

I have a question. Do you think copying a person or an actors performances is a good way to learn?

Sometime I will watch an interview of an actor and they will have particularly uncliched mannerisms and expressions when they are talking and think to myself "that would be pretty cool in an animation!"

So, it has occured to me to just copy the most interesting part of the interview/acting as a 10-15second dialogue, especially as a way to learn the subtleties
of humans when speaking dialogue.

I think I recall that artist use to copy a masters work as an aid to improve there skills and thought maybe the same principles could be applied to improving your own animation and observation skills.

I realise its kind of off-topic and I probably should of emailed you about it instead of asking here, but this way I can stay 'Anonymous' and not have you question me about why am I still trying to learing how to animate ,after all this time! :p.

Jean-Denis Haas said...

That's a good question, I'll post about it! :)

Pradeep Singh Bal said...

Great question ..Anonymous ..! Even I have this question .. but mine is regarding cartoon(acting) or snappy moves .. is it good to copy(for learning) Milt Kahl , Glen Keane's work?? is it a bad impression if we represent it as demo reel part.

Jean-Denis Haas said...

Any copy is a bad representation of your skillset because you are showing off someone else's work, not yours.

Pradeep Singh Bal said...

Accepted ...! Thanks JD you're a great mentor ..we're Lucky to have u here :P

Jean-Denis Haas said...

Thanks! :)