Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Critique - Chocolate Box
Ok, first the guy on the left:
the box stops a bit too quickly, almost seems to stick around x31. The keep alive is good, but it's just that one moment when it stops. It also comes out in a very straight line from x14 to 30. Give it more of an arc.
The way the hand goes back is too animated. I think it distracts from the girl. The mail man wouldn't really be that happy about the delivery. I know he's happy for her, but I think you should just focus on her. Just take the arm away (casually), then maybe have the postman step back or move the camera towards the girl.
I know it's just blocking, but watch the eyes on x26, they dart down too quickly, you'd want such a big move to happen over two frames.
She reads really well, it's all clear, except around x72, during her lunge forward. Her face looks angry, which is a weird break in character. I'd have her happy and excited.
It's a nice grab she does on the box, well done!
So move on with another polish pass, but the girl looks already very good.